ALIEN ATTACK

sssssssskathabooooooooooommmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




-Master, we are free at least!
-Yes, Gargo, I told you that the 49th dimension prision would not stop me.


Now, I can rule the entire Galaxy. Ha,Ha,Ha...But first, we must find a planet for my Headquarter, I mean, the Center of my empire...



-Look Master, a rocky planet overthere. We can land and anihilate all living beings and take the planet to us!



-Let some of them alive, we need slaves.
-My pleasure, Master.




-Nothing over this gigantic cosmic dust slug worths. See these creatures; they do not earn a plasma discharge. But we can change our starfighter for a starcruiser at least.
-So, take the ship and all the other things.
-Yes, my Master!



Krakatoooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



-Master, heat sensors indicate a blue planet ahead.



There are good natural conditions and life sensors indicate intense life activity.
-Good. Go there.



See, Master; excellent natural resources.



All this will belong to me, Gargo...Ha, Ha, Ha....



-(I hate when he laughs like an idiot...)



-What did you say, Gargo? You appear unhappy...If you wish, I can free you from your pain...
-No Master, I'm glad to service you...




-Master, the instruments indicate a kind of civilisation ahead.
-No good Technological ground, but it is suitable.





-Master, we are being attacked! check it out!
-Oh, it's just Jack Bauer, the white guy who save the World from Russians, Latinos and Muslims every Thursday's night. Now he's trying to save the planet from aliens; we have just to wait for the TV break and let whole planet burn.
-OK, Master, Excellent idea!



SSSSSHHHHHHKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAATTTAAAAAAABOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!



-So, the next planet is the cold and boring planet at 203 persecs ahead.
-Full speed, Gargo.



-MASTER!, MASTER! The instruments are not responding!!! the last information recorded is about a cosmic radiation storm. Navigation instruments are not responding too!!!!
-Yes, I know! Abandon the starcruiser! the gravity is dragging the ship and we are going to strike the planet surface. We will have a little bit more chances in the space!



-Gargo, prepare my spacesuit. Go, go, go!!!
-Prepare my ass!!! this fucking ship is falling over a block of ice and you are still telling orders? Prepare it yourself!!



-You will pay for it Gargo...I'll never forget.
-We are in this shit and you are the responsible. That's your fault, master...don't forget it too. By the way, do you remember the time in the prision when I killed the Gloobber priosioner who forced you to marry him? You had never say thanks to me since I've saved your ass from your cellmate in the prision. That Gloobber male was truly interested in you.



-Wash your mouth before you talk about Ramón! He was a good guy who was taking care of me! When he hold me with his strong and tender arms, caressing me... , he just intended to protect me. Do you know? I can still hear his voice on my ears... There was something magic every single night when he came to me just to say goodnight...
-Aham...I see...
-Errrr.....Gargo, check your propellers, we will land in this God-damned planet!
-OK, back to the reality after a refreshing dream...Don't you Master?
-Do as you wish, my green servant...



- Once more, we escaped from the sure death.
-Yes, but we will die here if we do not find a shelter. It's very cold here. The thermal scanner indicates that the temperature is falling 35° per time cycle.




-I will check the wrecked ship for find something to protect us against the freezing weather.
-Yes, do it.


(...)




-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
-RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
-MASTER, what's happening? MASTER!!!!



-A terrible creature! It had just invited me for a lunch, but the menu was me!
-At this moment it must be running to the opposite direction. You scared it. I'm sure.
-Really? So, take a look of that!!!




-HO, HO, HO!!! GUESS WHAT? I'M HUNGRY!!!!
- And I've found this fucking monster chewing parts of the shipwreck .It is so big! A laser pistol can't stop this shit!
-So, what can we do?

TO BE CONTINUED...

WHO'S FARTED?

-Oh man, I told you: do not eat chili crabs!
-I did not fart, stupid! You kept your ass blowing all this night and blame me in the morning?










-I'm warning, don't do it again, seapig!
-Funny boy...









(...)










-Oh my goodness, you smoke ass! Stop it or the whole iglu will melt!
Did you say what? I quit. A hungry polar bear is better than your fucking malodorous iglu. I'm leaving this scrap.





(...)







-You son of a yoke. Do you think that you can leave me inside this shit ? Wait for me smart guy...




Hey, wait for me too, I don't wanna smell penguin fart alone! Came on....

THE PARTY CRASHER

-Nice party, Icey.
-True. Andy Walrus parties are always good.



-Take a look: This is art!
-Andy Walrus is the Man!


-Good drinks, snacks, and chicks. All that want to bring into my life.
-Yeah, you are the Man too, pal.


-Hello guys!
-Hi you!



-Enjoying the party?
-Yeah!
-Nice! I'm having a good time here!



-Food is good?
-Sure, I love sea food.
-I'm just waiting for the sushi.


-Drink?
-The Daikiries are fantastic! you should try one!
-No, try whisky on the rocks!


-Good...Last question: WHO INVITED YOU GUYS?
-Andy Walrus... a friend of mine.
-Very close friend.

-I AM ANDY WALRUS!
-Bulshit, you are not Andy...
-Andy is a famous artist and you are just a J. Doe wishing to be famous for 15 minutes.
-Yeah! a fucking J. Doe

- I don't wanna be rude... You have the same fat face, the same spear tooth...but, aham, you are not Andy, right Icey?
-Well, you told it. Look at the picture again...

-Oh boy...
-Let's go Icey...

NATURE CALLS

-Wake up Icey, it's mating time!!!


-Oh, holy shit! MATING TIME!!! THAT'S A BIG TIME!!!


-Let's go Icey, chicks are waiting for us!
Okay buddy, let's go find some chicks.



-Hey, do you see overthere? Is it a chick?
-Of course yes! Three male penguins in the same fucking iceberg? That's impossible. Stay here. I will show her my magic. See and learn.



-Hello gorgeous, you are fabulous! It's mate time, I know? so, let the Nature do its job; don't say no to the Nature calling... gimme a kiss...



-Mate it, cabrón. PUNNNCH!!!!




-Now I'm sure: It's not a chick.
-Help, I'm bleeding!!! call 911!





-Hold on, buddy, I will find some help.





-Hey Icey, I'm back! Icey? Stay with me, pal!!
-What a hell is that?





[...penguins tend to show aggressive behavior in the mating time; male penguins struggle to the death for a mating chance. At the end of this season, thousands of males will find the death...this is cruel, but this is the Nature..]


-And cut! Good, very good boys, Nice scene! it was so realistic! Congratulations!
-You are welcome. If you need more realistic penguins scenes, just call me.
-I will. Hey guy take the money, you earned.
-Thank you buddy, Thanks National Geographic!


-You look very good, Icey. I saw all this blood and I thought that's serious.
-No, I cannot die, not now. Not before I snap your neck!